That's correct, Pat

Here's a list of the salaries that RTE's top 10 presenters earned in 2006.

1.Pat Kenny €849,139
2.Gerry Ryan €558,990
3.Marian Finucane €455,190
4.Joe Duffy €367,804
5.Ryan Tubridy €346,667
6.Derek Mooney €242,408
7.Marty Whelan €229,056
8.Miriam OCallaghan €221,383
9.John Kelly €204,675
10.Bryan Dobson €193,610

Now before you ask, I didn't get paid a penny for my little stint on Dublin City FM last weekend.

Now I know the reflex reaction to all those figures is supposed to be barely-suppressed rage. A quick shout around the offcie tells me that none of them are worth what they're being paid. Apart from Miriam O'Callaghan of course, who should be getting more. Obviously. She's been on the front of the RTE guide for heaven's sake.

Joe Duffy has supposedly made the biggest jump from the previous year from €268,000 to €367,000. There ought to be someone we can call to complain about that.. I love the part of the report where Joe says he never comments about his salary. It's abut the only thing that Joe doesn't have something to say about.

The consensus on Pat Kenny, obviously, is that he's a plank and it's a disgrace that taxpayers money blah blah blah..

My question is what do people think Pat and the rest should be getting paid? Is half too much? Is a third? What should the going rate be for someone who presents a 2 hour current affairs show every day on national radio and a 3 hour entertainment and current affairs show on tv? I'd say it's about €849,000, give or take. One of the biggest cliches about Pat Kenny is that he's very good on the radio. Everyone says it and it's a bit of a joke. Well the thing about that is, he is very good on the radio. And yes, he struggles on tv when he's sitting opposite Kerry Katona or David Gest. But God, who wouldn't? But he's probably the most educated man presenting on RTE and after 30 years on air hosting a variety of shows on radio and tv I say he's worth what they're giving him. For the work he has to do and the flak he takes, to say nothing of the advertising revenue that RTE pulls in during his shows, I'd say he earns it.. I couldn't do his job and neither could you. Eamon Dunphy failed miserably when he took him on and I don't imagine Tubridy or Miriam or Joe Duffy would fare much better either. In the end, whatever he's paid is whatever he's paid and there's really not much point in begrudging him..

Now here's some classic Pat moments for the weekend...

File under 'couldn't be arsed'

Mike Smith, lead singer of the Dave Clarke Five has died after a long illnes. The Dave Clarke Five, for the benefit of younger readers were,in the mid sixties, one of the Beatles main competitors. Ultimately they didn't enjoy anything like the same success (although this BBC report claims they could have sole 100million records) and split up in the 70s.

And this is the photo that the guardian used to go with the report of his death..
Doesn't really seem appropriate, does it?

This is more like it..

On the subject of the guardian homepage, this isn't very clever either, is it?
Promiscuous nurses?? Who isn't going to click on that link?!

Boss-tunes

Nice little interview here with Bruce Springsteen ahead of the second leg of his wrold tour.. Apart from the usual 'identifying with the crowd, playing till we drop' stuff that Bruce says in most interview these days, there's a list of what's on his i[od at the moment. I'm not sure if it's a full list (in which case, you've got to think he has a nano) or just a partial catalogue but I couldn't help looking to see if he had any Irish acts on his pod. And he does. One. Is it U2? Or Damien Rice? Or The Undertones? Could it even be The Corrs?

Nope - step forward Maura O'Connell!

We used to have one of her records at home when I was younger. I think my sister was a fan. She was kinda like a female Paul Brady back then but she moved to Nashville and I don't think she comes back very much anymore..

Good to see Bruce has one of his wife's songs on there too. I suppose he has to..

Bat Nav, if you will..

I love science.. Radios attached to bats with planes flying around to verify their position? Fantastic! I want that job. And now scientists want satellites to track migratory birds and mammals? Why? We know where they go, don't we? South, right. Unless they're in the Southern hemisphere, in which case they fly north.. Do we really need to know exactly where they're going? And isn't it an invasion of their privacy?!

Speaking of which, here's a cracker from the Old Jokes Home. I think my niece told me this..

Q: Why do birds fly south for winter?
A: Because it's too far too walk!

Kids jokes really are the best.

Coming in your ear

I don't mean to sound bitter but I gave up a long time ago on several of my youthful ambitions. The chances of me lining out at centre-back in an Ireland team at the World Cup may be beyond me now and it seems unlikely that Bruce Springsteen is going to be calling by the Towers to ask me to play rhythm guitar in the E Street Band. For one thing I don't play too well and for another he already has about 7 guitarists up there with him so one more might just be too much. Similarly I probably won't be stepping onto the stage at the Oscars to take my rightful place beside Daniel Day Lewis and Marion Cotillard (see - I'd be happy with a supporting actor nod) or sitting in the control room producing Bob Dylan's next record.

But on Saturday I got to realise a little ambition that I've been harbouring for years. For as long as I can remember (not very long, then) I've wanted to sit in a radio studio, pop on a pair of headphones and address the nation! The funnt thing is that I don't even listen to a lot of radio anymore. I download a lot of podcasts from RTE and the Beeb and tune in to Simon Mayo's show on 5live most days but other than that I don't really pay attention to most stations. A few years ago I took part in a telephone survey about what radio stations I listen to. At the end of the survey after I had expressed my dissatisfaction with most of the music and presenters I hear on the radio, I was asked if there was anyone I'd like to hear on the radio. I said that I wanted to hear me on the radio and we both laughed and finished the survey. Of course I never did anything about it (I mean, why would I?) but on Saturday I finally got the chance..

Helen's friend Anne Louise (we call her Alf) co-presents a show on Dublin City radio. Retrospective Perspective goes out on Saturdays at noon and is, I suppose, a fairly informal rundown of the weeks news, interrupted by the occasional interview or discussion and a lot of great music. I'd listened to it a couple of times and when I met Alf in the Gravediggers on Friday night we talked (briefly) about the chance that I might come in sometime and see how it all works..

Anyway, Friday turned into a late night of pots of stout and a sneaky bag of chips on the way home. As I lay in bed on Saturday morning I briefly thought of Alf having to go off to present a radio show while I nursed a hangover and flicked through (reading was beyond me at the time) the latest issue of The Word. Moments later Helen got a text message from Alf saying that her co-presenter couldn't make it and would I be interested in sitting in with her. Of course my first (and second) reaction was to say no. After all, I was hungover. And we had stuff to do in the house. And we needed to prepare for a party we were having that evening. And sure, I'd never get there in time. And it was a bit windy outside. And I was very sore from falling down the stairs. And yes, maybe just a little but, I was a bit nervous. Helen wasn't having any of it and told me, quite rightly, that if I didn't do it now i probably never would and that I should seize a chance when it arrives.. So, having called her to say I was going, and being told that we were discussing Sweden and Facebook, I jumped in the car and headed for the studio..

When I got there, I was lead into the studio, where Alf had already begun the show, and all of a sudden I was there. In a room! With a cd player! And a microphone! It was fantastic! As the opening song faded out, Alf quickly asked me what my surname was (we've only met each other a handful of times) before introducing me to the country. Well, the city. Ot ar least part of the city. More specifically, to the 11 listeners that Alf claimes to have. That made me feel better. I thought "I can speak to 11 people. Of course I can" Of course what I soon figured out is that you're not really talking to 11 people, you're talking to one. And I can definitely do that!

So we quickly ran through the papers picking out whatever stories interested us - showbiz stuff mostly, I suppose, and I offered opinions on many really important issues including Colin Farrell, Bruce Forsythe's birthday, Gazza's mental breaksdown, Dustin's Eurovision entry and where Bono might buy his fat-heeled shoes.. I wasn't involved in the interview with the Swedish musician that Alf talked to because we hadn't got my earphones working at the point (and because I'd probably say something stupid) but afterwards we had a discussion/debate thingy about the pros and cons of Facebook with a contributor on the phone. I thought it actually went well. I mean nobody was going to confuse it with a presidential debate but I felt it was pretty light-hearted and hopefully a little bit entertaining.

When the Facebook discussion ended, there was just time for an Abba song to finish the show (Knowing Me, Knowing You, since you ask) and that was it. My first tentative foray into radio was over. The hour flew by and I must say it was an absolute blast and a bit of a thrill..

Afterwards one of the other presenters complimented me and said I sounded good and that, in my favour, I didn't say 'ehhhh' and 'y'know' or 'like' very much, like. You know? I suppose that's a start, at least.

I don't know if I'm going to get to do something like it again but I'd absolutely love to. And hey - if I get to it again, I'll tell you all. And maybe if you all tune in we can bump Alf's numbers up to 12 or 13!

Feck the begrudgers!

I've lots to do today but this is lovely and so..

The great thing about this is that people over here have been begrudging Hansard (the second best-looking redhead in Ireland) for years. The backlash for him started in about 1992. Since people have been accusing him of being full of himself and talentless for 15 years, this should be a cakewalk for him! And before anyone has a go at me for saying he wouldn't win the Oscar, I just think that the song from Enchanted deserved it more..

Nice touch by John Stewart too.. Once is a cracking film - you all (both of you!) should see it.

This Dust-in...

So this is Ireland's entry in this year's Eurovision Song Contest..

I've said it before but ever since Father Ted and My Lovely Horse, the Irish people, in all our glorious contrariness have been waiting for their chance to do something like this..

In the end though, the people get the Eurovision representative they deserve. Let's see what happens next. All bets are off!

Sweet heebie jeesus!

Ronnie Drew once tried to chuck me out of one his gigs for being rowdy. I don't bloody love him! The funny thig was he was telling all these stories between songs about disrespecting authority and general rabble-rousing and then he tried to have me ejected for being a little bit boisterous. I didn't know whether to be insulted or delighted!

And is it just me or does the chorus of thi yoke sound like Leonard Chohen's Hallelujah..

"...She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Ronnie Drewjah..."

Still you've got to admire their chutzpah..

Slip sliding away.

Oh - with all this redecoration I should point out that I learnt an important lesson on Friday night about wearing socks on varnished wooden stairs. I was rushing down the stairs to go out and as I stepped off the landing (landing? ironic that) I felt my right foot slip. I tried to put my left foot down on the stair but found to my surprise and horror that I was, in fact, very much airborne.. I landed (with no small amount of grace and poise) on my back and just as I thanked my lucky stars (for a second I thought I was in real trouble) for a quick landing, my momentum carried me forward and I slid on down the stairs hitting each one along the way before collapsing in a heap in the hallway.

If anyone else had been there, I daresay I would gave laid there whimpering and sobbing like the brave soldier I am until help arrived. As it was, I was alone so I picked myself up (slowly) put on my shoes (now he puts on his shoes!!) and went down to the Gravediggers for a medicinal pint or two.. It was really only when I woke up on Saturday morning that I realised how bad it was. Leonard Cohen has a great lyric about aching in the places that he used to play. Well, since Saturday morning, I've been aching in the places that I used to just be.. I've got a bruise the size of my back on my back and lots of little bangs and sores. So, you know, if you're reading this kids, don't make the same mistake I made!

Still - you won't hear me complaining.. Everybody else will but you won't!

And at least it wasn't captured on screen like poor old Beyonce..

Hey - I never said I was an expert...

Well, I have to admit to being a bit surprised by some of these (especially Marion Cotillard's performance in La Vie en Rose which I thought was really quite grating) but who knows how these things are decided really? Anyway, they're all winners, aren't they?

Still - just as well I didn't put the house on my predictions.. This place might have been called Paddy Power Towers from now on..

'and the Oscar probably doesn't go to...'

It's late on Sunday night and the Oscar results will be announced shortly so here's my predictions for who and what I think will be the big wiinners tonight.. Let's meet back here in the morning to see what happened..

Best Supporting Actress Ruby Dee (token old person award)
Best Supporting Actor Javier Bardem (token Johnny Foreigner award)
Best Actor Daniel Day Lewis (just because he's my friend)
Best Actress Julie Christie (token sick/dying character award)
Best Film No Country For Old Men (because it was the best film on the list)
Best Director Paul Thomas Anderson (because they won't give it to the Coens, will they?)

And I don't think Glen Hansard is going to win his Oscar (everyone here thinks he's a certainty). I think it's a lovey song and a terrific film (not that that has anything to do with anything) but 'That's How you Know' from Enchanted should take the statue. That's a proper big-time hollywood song! I thought Enchanted was one of the best things I saw last year. I'd even have given Amy Adams a nomination for Best Actress if they'd asked me. My form must have got lost in the post. I blame the writers' strike. This song was the most enjoyable 4 minutes I spent at the cinema in 2007. I may even have applauded at the end. And I hate people who applaud at the cinema!

Now, I wonder what odds Paddy Power would've given me for that lot..

New and improved?

Connolly Towers has been undergoing a bit of a facelift over the last couple of months.. Shortly before Christmas I stayed in a lovely hotel in Tipperary and was very much taken by the red bathroom in our room. I decided that when I got the chance I'd paint my own bathroom the same colour. On New Years Eve I began what turned out to be a redocration project that's taken the best part of 2 months to finish. Actually, truth be told, it's not quite finished yet but i'm going to take a little break for a while. Besides I need to get that shirt clean.

Having painted the bathroom walls, I figured that the ceiling could do with a fresh coat. Then the doors looked a bit shabby by comparison. But of course you can't just do one door, you've got to do all of them, don't you? Once the doors were done I realised I'd better paint the walls of the bedrooms but, wait, so long as I'm doing that why don't I pull up the carpets, sand the floors and varnish them? That'll only take a few minutes, right? Excitingly it was when i was doing the floors that I discovered that there used to be a fireplace in my bedroom but it's all been blocked up. Seriously, why would anyone do something like that? At some stage it'll be a little job for me to unblock that and out in a new fireplace. Or, more to the point, an old one. So, once the floors were done, I was able to paint the walls.. Oh and the ceilings too. And if I'm going to paint the walls of the Towers, I'd better paint the porch. And on and on and on. And let's see - it seems to me like there's hardly been a better time to get rid of those nasty curtains in the living toom. And the bedroom. And the blinds in the bathroom. And the kitchen.. Honestly it's just become an ongoing obsessions that I think is finally reaching the end of the line. I need to do a little work in the kitchen (painting the presses, changing the door handles and rearranging the shelves) and I should be done..

Now I wouldn't want anyone to think I did it all on my own. Actually - I'd love for people to think that I did it on my own but the truth is that Helen helped out an awful lot. It was her idea to sand the floors and although I always wanted to do it myself I needed a bit of guideance and know-how which she has lots of.. So credit where credit's due. And thanks - I couldn't have done it without her. Well done that girl.

It's been taking up all my weekends and most nights when I get home from work to so it's great to finally have most of the work done and at last i can take the opportunity to sit back, relax and enjoy all the hard work.. I reckon I'm all worked out at this stage.

What? Tidy up the garden? Oh for fu....

Doing it for the kids..

There's always a day you've never had before.. Last week we popped over to Superquinn in Finglas to collect money for Heart Children. I don't normally talk about my charity work (mostly because I don't normally do any charity work) but Helen's nephew has had some heart problems and so, when we were asked to give a bit of help to the collectors, we were happy to dig in..

The 2 guys who had been collecting all day were heading off for lunch and told us it had been slow all day but I've got to say that I was hugely impressed and touched by the generosity of the lunchtime shoppers.. Some people gave us 5 and 10 euro notes without taking the plastic windmills we were hawking.. Others just gave us whatever change they had.. Mostly it was old women and young men who donated. Either way we did ok in the time we were there. Despite the biting cold I had a great time out there. When the lads came bak from their lunch, we handed their yellow bibs back to them, bought a few windmills and headed in to The Gresham..

One of the reasons we were happy to help out with Heart Children (besides the fact that it's good to, y'know, give a little back once in a while) was that we had the to go in to the Gresham with Helen's nephew for a photo opp with Daniel Day Lewis. His new film was being shown as part of the Dublin Film Festival and Heart Children were hosting a reception beforehand. Day Lewis was attending and had agreed to have his photo taken with one of the Heart kids. We went in with Helen's nephew and her sister and waited for an hour or so in the foyer. While we waited James drew a little card for Daniel wishing him luck at the Oscars. Of course James didn't know who he was meeting and couldn't really care but as the photographer hung around and the organisers hovered nervously, it was hard not to get a little excited about what was about to happen.

Eventually we were told that Daniel wouldn't come in to the lobby and was going to be whisked in through the back entrance (cos you know famous people are just like you and me). We were rushed down hallways and through attended doors that were locked after we walked through them til we stopped in a small lobby somewhere in the bowels of the hotel. A moment later he was there! Tall, skinny, greyer than you'd expect and very charming. He sat for a few photos with James and read the card that he made for him. Putting it inside his jacket he told him that he'd take the card to the Oscars with him and keep it in his pocket on the night. James just looked a little bit bemused by the whole thing but the rest of us were melting in the great man's presence. We were all led into the reception room where hundreds of well-heeled men and women and members of the glitterati (no - of course I didn't recognise anyone) were enjoying little canape nibbles and champagne.. We were asked to stick around for a while and were even given tickets to see the film but in the end we didn't go along. I'm really looking forward to seeing There Will Be Blood but I'd been listening to Mark Kermode reviewing it the previosu daty and one of his rewuirements for seeign it was that you should be very sober and very alert going in. After several glasses of wine I was afraid that i'd fall asleep within 10 minutes of sitting down in the dark.. That seems to happen more lately.

At one point as were drinking wine and listening to the speeches, I thought back to the poor lads who'd been collecting all day outside the supermarket in the cold. If they could have seen us in the Gresham drinking free plonk they mightn't have appreciated the injustice. But as far as I can see, life's is full of problems and tough times so I'm not going to feel bad about meeting an Oscar winner and drinking some free wine..

Besides, the canapes really weren't that great. You wouldn't have liked them!

For the day that's in it

His most romantic song? I'd say so. Apart from Drive All Night which is too long to post and besides, you'd probably need a lie-down afterwards.

The Tougher Than The Restvideo was supposedly recorded around the time that Bruce and his missus first got together. You can tell, can't you?

About damn time..

It's good to read this morning that Steve Spielberg has resigned his post as artistic advisor to this year's Olympic Games in Beijing. Given China's support, or lack of condemnation of the conflict in Sudan his conscience will no loner allow him to continue. Considering he wrote to the Chinese government last April asking them to take action and received no reply, it's hard to see why it's taken him this long to act. Perhaps he just wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Anyway, it's right and proper thart he's resigned and he should be appluaded for it but I found this part of the report a little annoying. "At this point, my time and energy must be spent not on Olympic ceremonies but on doing all I can to help bring an end to the unspeakable crimes against humanity that continue to be committed in Darfur." Surely by quitting he's done enough. The publicity will hurt the Chinese, or the Olympics at least, and that's all he can really achieve. In the meantime, his time and energy should be spent on the new Indiana Jones film.

Like all the other movie stars who like to get involved in these things, don't you wish that he should stick to what he does best?

Still - well done, that man.

Before the Devil Knows You're Egged

I've been catching up on some new films over the last few weeks. There's a lot or really well reviewd films on release this monhth and after a quiet November and December, I'm going to try to catch as many as I can over the next few weeks.. Since the middle of January I've managed to see Charlie Wilson's War (flawed but entertaining), No Country for Old Men (every bit as good as all the reviews said it was), Alvin and The Chipmunks (Hey - I was with a bunch of kids. And it's great!), Definitey, Maybe (rather good as it turns out), and, last night, Before The Devil Knows You're Dead.

'Devil' is terrific - a good old fashioned heist-gone-wrong movie with no heroes and no winners. Instead it's got a fractured family, 2 very badly behaved sons and a rapidly closing circle of paranoia, fear and despair. Not a comedy, so.. Right from the start (when we're shown the heist going tragically wrong) we're dragged into a world which it's hard to see any way out of for all of the main characters. As great as it is, I was quite happy when it ended and I could get out and back to the real world..

I was walking home from the cinema (it's about a 25 minute walk) with no music to listen to and was thinking about the film. It was a tough one to sit through and I was reflecting on what happens when lives go wrong and people run out of choices. The streets were fairly quiet and I was texting my girlfriend and generally paying little attention to what else was going on around me. Suddenly, and I don't really know how to put this, I was hit in the face. BANG! Something hit me really hard on my left cheek & mouth and shattered on the ground. It took me a second to realise that someone in a passing car had thrown an egg at me and hit the target. I looked around but the car was long gone. The thing that struck me (beside the egg) was that there was no cheering or shouting from the car. You'd expect whoever did it (and I'm assuming it was a he and that he wasn't alone) would have made some sort of celebratory shout but the car just kept on going leaving me with a sore face and an eggy jacket..

It's weird when something like that happens. What are you supposed to think? I mean - am I a victim of a crime? I don't imagine the police would be very interested.. Was it a practical joke? What would have happened if the egg was a little higher and hit my eye? As it is, I've got a sore cheek and a puffy lip. Was I targeted specifically? I was in a drive-by egging for God's sake! Was the egg free-range? Organic? As I walked on I saw lots of cracked eggs on the pavement so clearly I was just a random punter getting on the wrong end of someone's good aim..

It's a strange one though. Of course, I can see the funny side of it and it really only smarted for a few minutes but you do wonder about the randomness of it. Try to get in the minds of the people in the car. What are they getting out of it? I mean, by the time they've hit the target, they're gone so they wouldn't necessarily have seen if they were successful. I didn't hit the groung clutching my face and crying "They Got Me!! I'm Down!!" I was a brave soldier. An Eggy Soldier, if you will. Is it boredom or badness that makes people do things like this? I was talking to my niece the other night. She lives in a nice house, has everything she wants (ipods, phones etc.) and when I asked her how things were she said she was bored. Not bored with the night in question or bored with the company (although she's 14 so that's probably a given) but just generally bored. It can't be boredom that makes teenagers get in cars and chuck eggs at strangers, can it?

It wasn't a completely negative experience though. I learnt an important lesson. I'm not sure who originally said that comedy was tragedy plus time but I never really bought it until last night. I got to my girlfriend's house and she answered the door to my red face and my eggy jacket. I was feeling a bit sorry for myself and in need of some comforting. What did she do? She laughed. And laughed. And then she fell over and laughed some more! I was annoyed for about 20 seconds and then it all just seemed funny. A sore lip and a dry cleaning bill is hardly something to get worked up about.

Still - I'm determined that it's not going to stop me eating eggs. After all, if that happens then the terrorists have won, right?

So, in order to keep our sunny side up, let's finish with a joke.

Q: Why do the French only eat one egg for breakfast?
A: Because in France, one egg is an ouef.

I crack me up!

Gotta get me one of these..

If you can sit, you can get fit!

No such thing as bad publicity..

The last thing I want to do is spend all my time talking about airlines but...

Most people will have heard the news about the case Nicolas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni have taken against Ryanair. The airline used a picture of the couple in a newspaper ad in France without their permission and they took separate actions seeking €500,000 for her (apparently that's the going rate if you want to use her image for advertising) and €1 for him. Sarkozy was only seeking €1 as some kind of symbolic act. It's hard to imagine that he doesn't think he's worth much more. In the end the courts found in their favour and awarded Bruni a more realistic €60,000 while Sarkozy got his €1..

Ryanair were typically bullish afterwards and claimed that it would have cost a lot more than €60,000 to get the attention and coverage that the case brought them. I'm sure they're right.

Another case involving Ryanair that didn't get nearly as much attention was also settled this week. 5 members of a calypso band were marched off a flight from Sardinia to London at gunpoint because a fellow passenger (a psychology professor) thought they were terrorists. The captain of the flight decided to remove them when some other passengers and members of staff refused to travel if the 'terrorists' stayed on the flight. The men's offences appear to involve sitting separately on the plane and generally looking a bit dodgy. One of them appeared to be blind but had a newspaper on his lap (actually he was blind but you know how easy it is to play blind). The scoundrel! Does it need to be pointed out that none of the men were white?

In the end they were given the all-clear and travelled on the next available flight which got them to Liverpool. They had to spend the night in the bus station there because by the time they got there they were too late to catch a coach to London.

Anyway, the case was heard yesterday and Ryanair, who have so far failed to apologise for the inconvenience (and inconvenience is putting it mildly), were ordered to pay each of them £1,116.

So in summary, the black musicians get just over a grand for (according to a professor) looking like terrorists, getting marched off a plan at gunpoint, spending a night sleeping in a bus station and missing out on New Year's celebrations with their families. And the glamourous politician and his supermodel wife get €60,001 for an irreverent ad in the newspaper..

Oh, and this bit you couldn't make up, Ryanair are appealing the decision.

Doesn't seem quite right, does it?

The Price is Wrong

So, a follow up ot that post about Irish Ferries.. I'm going to Prague in April to visit an old friend. I booked my flight with aer lingus this afternoon and came to this little section on the site..
Unlike Irish Ferries, who as I said before, don't have any extra hidden charges, aer lingus and ryanair expect their passengers to pay to take luggage with them on the flight. It's €9 each way for one bag. Or, and here's where the bargain is, €18 return. So let's see: two individual payments of €9 or one payment of bugger-all. Thanks for that, lads.

Not to worry - i'm going to Prague. Which reminds me - what's Czech for sausage, egg and chips?

What's Irish for Too Little Too Late?

I see Bertie Ahern has criticised Aer Lingus for changing their policy of making announcements in Irish and English on their flights out of Belfast. Isn't it curious that he didn't have anything at all to say when Aer Lingus cancelled their flight schedule from Shannon to London in January yet he managed to rouse himself to comment on this issue? I'm sure the people in Shannon who lost their jobs wil be pleased that Bertie is defending the use of their national language, since he didn't seem too concerned about their livelihoods..

I had to laugh too at breakingnews.ie translating the little bits of Irish in the article (cuple focal and Failte romhaibh chuig an mBruiseil) into Englsh. In the interest of all concerned parties, however, shouldn't they have translated the rest of the document into Irish?

Joking aside, I think I'm with Bertie and Enda Kenny on this one. A lot of the work we do for Government agencies has to be produced in Irish as well as English. Annual Reports for public companies are printed in both languages too. Sometimes it seems like a monumental waste of time to spend days producing a document in Irish that you know will only be printed in very small numbers and never taken from the shelf. For all the incovenience though, I'm quite proud of it and would be sad if we stopped having to produce these Irish documents. The Irish language is part of our heritage and it should be protected when necessary and encouraged when possible.

Which reminds me, what's Irish for sausage, egg and chips...

The Price is Right

We're heading over to France in June for our Summer holiday. Other that a weekend in Paris about 10 years ago, I've never been to France so I'm rather excited at the thought of driving through beautiful countryside, eating lots of cheese and drinking fabulous wines. Of course I'm a little worried about the language difference but I'm fairly sure that shrugging indifferently and exclaiming haw-hee-haw-hee-hawww covers most things.. If that doesn't work, I expect there'll be lots of pointing and repeating myself at increased volume. Just like a typical day in the office, so..

So last night we booked our place on the ferry. Here's how it works: You go onto the Irish Ferries website and tell them where and when you want to sail. It tells you how much that sailing costs. Then you select a cabin. There's lots to choose from and they all have the price beside them. When you've got that done, you select a sailing to come home on. And a cabin. And then it gives you a total. Here's where it gets really exciting: Once it gives you the price for the sailing and the cabin, that's it. There's no fuel surcharge, there's no taxes and fees. There isn't even a charge for being really inconvenient and wanting to have luggage with you.. Now, in fairness there was a 4euro charge for paying with a credit card but get this, there was an option to pay 25% now and the balance in April. Sweet.

This is in contrast to booking a flight with, for instance aer lingus. The other day I was looking at flights to New York and the final price was 315euro more than the price listed beside the flights when I was selecting them. It's the fuel surcharge that kills me.. When did they start doing that? Is it legal to advertise a flight at one price and then charge on an extra 50 quid on top? Surely there's advertising laws about listing prices?

Anyway, for now that's not a problem. I've more important things to worry about now - like what's French for sausage egg and chips..

Train in Vain

This might be old news but it's too funny to let pass..

I can't imagine what he must have thought sitting on a train to Limerick on his own. I suppose if nothing else, there wouldn't have been much of a queue at the snack bar..