They play the full 90 minutes in Stoke!

I was checking the news on the Independent's website a few minutes ago and spotted this report from Stoke City's first home premiership game since 1985..

A draw against Villa isn't a bad result I suppose..

Of course a win would be much better which, according to the bbc who presumably waited until the final whistle to file copy, is what they got..


Good work, lads.. And well done to Stoke who aren't really given much chance of staying the Premier League this year. I bet they didn't have anyone playing for them in 1985 with a name like Mamady Sidibe!

These amateur colours are making me crazy!

In this industry (and others, probably) it's always tough when the main contact you've been dealing with leaves your client's organisation and is replaced by an outsider keen to put their own stamp on things and impress everyone. It usually leads to a lot of unnecessary alterations that are insisted upon by the new person just to make themselves seem very important..

We've spent a lot of time over the last 2 years working on a suite of documents for a client in the hospitality business. They've just replaced their operations manager who's insisting on orchestrating changes to the material. Her rationale? The colours don't look very professional.

Professional? We're at a loss here. Does anybody know what distingushes a colour as professional? I'm certain he doesn't know what it means but maybe he thought it would sound good in a boardroom somewhere.. We're considering telling him to hold on a little while because the existing colours are going to go professional after the Olympics.

Professional colours.. I ask you..

Grace in defeat

So Ireland's brave Paddy Barnes has been beaten comprehensively (I think we can call 15-0 comprehensive, can't we?)in his Flyweight Semi-final in Beijing this morning.

After the fight he branded the standard of judging in his bout and the tournament overall as "a disgrace". RTE, in their online coverage, take a similar line, claiming that "If ever there was an example of the questionability of Olympic boxing scoring, this tie was it." They then offered a blow-by blow (literally) account of the bout which if the judges had corrected the scoring to match RTE's opinion, would have led to a score of 15-2. So there's a miscarriage if ever I saw one.

After the fight Barnes was asked if he was proud of his achievement in winning a Bronze. His response? "They can keep the bronze medal, I don't care. It's for losers."

That's the spirit!

For real men only

Confession time. I've like Brian McFadden. I'm not really sure why but he always seemed a decent sort. A chancer, for sure, but an ok punter underneath it all. His attempts to be Westlife's own Robbie Williams were a little desperate and there's no question that most of his solo work has been awful but still he always struck me as a likable sort..

I went to see him doing a showcase gig in Whelans a few years ago for his first (his only?) post-Westlife solo album and I think that's what swung it for me. The audience was full of two kinds of people - on one side was his family and the other was a crowd of people (including me) who got in on the promise of free booze and who spent most of the gig laughing at him. One song was some sort of apology to his kids for leaving their mother (possibly the only smart thing he ever did) and I still crack up at the memory of him emoting to an audience of laughing cynics. In the middle of all my derision though I started to think that maybe he really believed all the stuff he was singing and that, while we were laughing at him, he was up there giving it a go and trying to stick it to the begrudgers.. And being the kind of chap who loves an underdog, I started to warm to him a bit..

Now it turns out he's a homophobe. Except I don't think he is really. On a radio show he was co-hosting in New Zealand, he was having a conversation about whether it was acceptable for men to wear pink. In a moment of real madness, in a response to a caller who claimed that pink is really just a variation on red, he said the following:

"Saying pink is a form of red is the same as saying that homosexual is a form of male"

What?! Seriously, I heard that today in the office and laughed. What on earth does it even mean? I really don't think he knew what he was saying and I certainly don't think it marks him down as a homophobe. I've listened to the clip online (and you can here) and his point (in as much as he had a point - it sounds like he's just jibber-jabbering really) is that it's unacceptable for real men to wear pink. That if you wear pink you are possibly telling the world that you might be homosexual. He isn't saying he hates gays or that homosexuals are going to hell. In fairness, he does say that in ye olden days it was frowned upon to be gay and that the church would burn you at the stake. But he doesn't say that he's ok with it or any such thing, not that stopped the papers from jumping up and down and calling him names..

Anyway, here's a thing. I know people who react to seeing men wearing pink by making a joke about him being gay. There - I've said it. I don't know where it came from but it's a concept that's been around for years. Is it an Irish thing? I know people who think they can tell by the way a man walks whether he's gay or not. I have friends (girls actually) who swear they know by how a man slices bread. I even know one very intelligent woman who claims you can tell a man is gay by the shape of his head. I almost believe her! My point is that people make comments like that all the time. Does it offend gay people? It can't, can it? I work with a gay man who makes far more offensive comments every day about being gay than McFadden could imagine but nobody is offended. He says some choice things about straight people too but that's by the by. And if a gay man (let's say Graham Norton or Elton John for example) made the comments that Brian McFadden did, nobody would say a word. Why? Because it would be knowing and self-aware and, sure aren't the gayers great lads for making jokes about themselves, and all that etc..

Of course he did say that thing about homosexuality not being 'a form of male' but really, it was barely a fully constructed sentence, never mind the madness of a gay-hater. It suggest to me that rather than having hatred in his heart he just has a bit of foot in his mouth. And believe me, when you're co-hosting on the radio that's a very easy thing to do..

I could get behind (fannarrr) the gay community over that Heinz gay ad nonsense in June but if they're going to get offended by this they're on their own. Them and their pink shirt wearing, funny walking, round-faced, bread-slicing friends!

And oh, look at this!

The eyes have it

They're at it again..

Not 46 but not 26 either.

As of today, I'm 36. This is me before I left for work this morning. I added the hat and badge later

I don’t know what 36 is supposed to feel like but I don’t think I feel like I’m 36. Anymore than I felt like I was 35 yesterday. In my head I’m somewhere around 28 or thereabouts. There’s not much to say about being 36, is there? 40 is still a ways away (still - it's coming) but 30 is even further away, disappearing rapidly from my rear view mirror. It’s kinda like the Tuesday of thirtysomething birthdays.

If I’m honest I don’t think I ever had any great goals for my 36th year. Maybe I thought I’d have kids by now but I’m not too bothered about that today. Not since I have a new watch to play with. It’s got 3 winders and lots of other dials on the face. I’ve no idea what they’re for but I’m sure it’s very important. Scuba diving and running around burning buildings - that kind of thing. Besides if I had kids I probably wouldn’t have been able to have my breakfast in bed this morning. Which I did. And it was delicous. I’m not even aware of any great artistic achievements by 36 year-olds. Dylan did nothing the year he was 36. John Lennon was baking bread (supposedly) in the Dakota. Springsteen had finished a huge tour just before his 36th birthday and spent most of that year doing very little. So, hey - if sitting on laurels was good enough for them, it’s good enough for me.. If only I had some laurels. Not to worry, the book can wait another year. Although it’d be good if I had a better idea by then.

Let’s look back at the last year though. This time last year I hadn't done any of the following:
> donated blood;
> driven in France;
> seen Leo Burnham for the first time;
> fallen down the stairs (twice);
> had a pedicure;
> seen Bruce and the band 4 times;
> wangled myself a co-presenting gig on the radio;
> erected scaffolding;
> been targetted (accurately) by vicous egg terrorists;
> sanded the floors;
> met Daniel Day Lewis;
> read a bunch of great books including Moondust, Gene Kerrigan's The Midnight Choir and Robert Harris’ Ghost writer;
> read some not very good at all books like Douglas Kennedy’s State of the Union;
> been to Steve and Dara’s wedding;
> skanked my way into itunes american site and bought a bunch of things you can’t buy anywhere else;
> watched in horror as I realised itunes american site was on to me and had cancelled my balance!;
> plastered the ceilings;
> plucked up the nerve to get my media wanker glasses;
> had a massage (fnaarr!);
> accidentally killed my laptop (not my fault, guv);
> seen No Country for Old Men, Man on Wire, Enchanted or Elegy;
> visited Michael in Prague;
> picked a lock;
> Bought new cds by Elbow, Fleet Foxes, Vampire Weekend, Al Green, Bruce, Paul Weller, Shelby Lynne, Robert Plant, Aimee Mann, Coldplay, Cathy Davey, in an attempt to find something new and exciting to listen to;
> Listened to all of the above and arrived at the conclusion that there's nothing new anymore;
> shook tins outside shops for Heart Kids (well done Finglas, thanks for nothing Blanchardstown);
> sat through the entire third series of Greys Anatomy on dvd and managed to almost enjoy it by the end. Almost.

And of course most of these things wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t met Helen last September. Apart from being pelted in eggs walking home from work.

All in all not a bad year really. I don’t know what this year is going to bring to Connolly Towers, but more of the same would be fine with me. Apart from the egg attack and the falling down the stairs thing. I’m so over that lark.

So happy birthday to me.

Oh, and even though she hasn’t called me all year, I hope Ana Matronic is having a lovely day. I bet my year was more interesting.

Who'll Stop The Rain?

Another horrible, rainy night in Dublin. More flooding, more delays and more opportunities for met eireann to tell us that it's going to get worse before it gets worse. I swear they're loving it..

Anyway, I just read an article on the irish times website about the weather conditions and I was taken by this particular sentence:

"The rain will ease on Thursday and Friday before returning with a vengeance at the weekend."

A vengeance? For what? Seems a little harsh, doesn't it? Have we disrespected the rain? Could we have insulted it somehow? Maybe it doesn't like to see people in flooded areas getting around in canoes and those feelgood pictures you always see in papers of men carrying kids around on their shoulders with their trousers rolled up. Maybe we just didn't take last weeks floods as seriously as we should have. Clearly, cancelling the Tullamore show in Offaly wasn't enough. Now the rain is fighting back. It's coming back with sticks and baseball bats and this time it means business.

I don't know much about the Bible but I watched enough West Wing to remember “‘Vengeance is mine’ saith the Lord” They never mentioned the weather though. Perhaps it's God's will. Perhaps the Irish Times just got a bit carried away. Either way I'm not leaving the house this weekend.. After everything I said about not being made of sugar when I went outside during last weekend's downpour I'm taking no chances!