Before the Devil Knows You're Egged

I've been catching up on some new films over the last few weeks. There's a lot or really well reviewd films on release this monhth and after a quiet November and December, I'm going to try to catch as many as I can over the next few weeks.. Since the middle of January I've managed to see Charlie Wilson's War (flawed but entertaining), No Country for Old Men (every bit as good as all the reviews said it was), Alvin and The Chipmunks (Hey - I was with a bunch of kids. And it's great!), Definitey, Maybe (rather good as it turns out), and, last night, Before The Devil Knows You're Dead.

'Devil' is terrific - a good old fashioned heist-gone-wrong movie with no heroes and no winners. Instead it's got a fractured family, 2 very badly behaved sons and a rapidly closing circle of paranoia, fear and despair. Not a comedy, so.. Right from the start (when we're shown the heist going tragically wrong) we're dragged into a world which it's hard to see any way out of for all of the main characters. As great as it is, I was quite happy when it ended and I could get out and back to the real world..

I was walking home from the cinema (it's about a 25 minute walk) with no music to listen to and was thinking about the film. It was a tough one to sit through and I was reflecting on what happens when lives go wrong and people run out of choices. The streets were fairly quiet and I was texting my girlfriend and generally paying little attention to what else was going on around me. Suddenly, and I don't really know how to put this, I was hit in the face. BANG! Something hit me really hard on my left cheek & mouth and shattered on the ground. It took me a second to realise that someone in a passing car had thrown an egg at me and hit the target. I looked around but the car was long gone. The thing that struck me (beside the egg) was that there was no cheering or shouting from the car. You'd expect whoever did it (and I'm assuming it was a he and that he wasn't alone) would have made some sort of celebratory shout but the car just kept on going leaving me with a sore face and an eggy jacket..

It's weird when something like that happens. What are you supposed to think? I mean - am I a victim of a crime? I don't imagine the police would be very interested.. Was it a practical joke? What would have happened if the egg was a little higher and hit my eye? As it is, I've got a sore cheek and a puffy lip. Was I targeted specifically? I was in a drive-by egging for God's sake! Was the egg free-range? Organic? As I walked on I saw lots of cracked eggs on the pavement so clearly I was just a random punter getting on the wrong end of someone's good aim..

It's a strange one though. Of course, I can see the funny side of it and it really only smarted for a few minutes but you do wonder about the randomness of it. Try to get in the minds of the people in the car. What are they getting out of it? I mean, by the time they've hit the target, they're gone so they wouldn't necessarily have seen if they were successful. I didn't hit the groung clutching my face and crying "They Got Me!! I'm Down!!" I was a brave soldier. An Eggy Soldier, if you will. Is it boredom or badness that makes people do things like this? I was talking to my niece the other night. She lives in a nice house, has everything she wants (ipods, phones etc.) and when I asked her how things were she said she was bored. Not bored with the night in question or bored with the company (although she's 14 so that's probably a given) but just generally bored. It can't be boredom that makes teenagers get in cars and chuck eggs at strangers, can it?

It wasn't a completely negative experience though. I learnt an important lesson. I'm not sure who originally said that comedy was tragedy plus time but I never really bought it until last night. I got to my girlfriend's house and she answered the door to my red face and my eggy jacket. I was feeling a bit sorry for myself and in need of some comforting. What did she do? She laughed. And laughed. And then she fell over and laughed some more! I was annoyed for about 20 seconds and then it all just seemed funny. A sore lip and a dry cleaning bill is hardly something to get worked up about.

Still - I'm determined that it's not going to stop me eating eggs. After all, if that happens then the terrorists have won, right?

So, in order to keep our sunny side up, let's finish with a joke.

Q: Why do the French only eat one egg for breakfast?
A: Because in France, one egg is an ouef.

I crack me up!