The boyz are back in town...

It's not all Leonard Cohen and Bob Dylan round at Connolly Towers. I used to have a sneaky fondness for Take That back in the day and now that I don't really care what anyone thinks and don't believe in the concept of guilty pleasures (you either like it or you don't - no guilt required) I'm more than happy to see that their comeback has been one of the great pop success stories of the last 18 months.

Boyzone, however, are a completely different bag of tools though. And what tools! Right from that 'legendary' appearance on the Late Late show in '93, they were exposed as nothing more than a bunch of opportunistic chancers. There's nothing wrong with that, of course - there's been plenty of chancers before and since Boyzone's glory dayz. But the way that they modelled themselves on Take That's template showed such a lack of imagination that you couldn't really afford them them very much goodwill. When they split up in.. actually when did they split up? I think Westlife had already arrived to knock them off their perch by then, so Boyzone's demise really didn't have any impact.. When Take That split up in '96 it was front page news. By the time this mob called it a day, nobody cared anymore..

And that's the way it stayed. Ronan had his solo career (more covers, a few originals, public falling-out with Louis Walsh all resulting in dwindling sales), Keith turned to acting (go on admit it - he wasn't at all bad in the Street) and the rest fell back into comfortable obscurity (Shane - Celebrity Love Island, Mikey - Fatal Deviation, Steven - em.....). But with one eye on Take That's triumphant return and another on their bank statement, they're back! Turns out they didn't really hate each other at all and now they're going to tour as a favour to all their loyal fans.. Personally I think they could be going for a bit of a tumble.. Have a look at their performance last week on the Children in Need telethon and tell me they've still got it. Whatever 'it' was in the first place. As you'd expect, Ronan is still running the show. It looks like Mikey and Keith would rather be anywhere else than on that stage. And what's the story with Keith Duffy's popeye arms? Give that man a shirt! He looks twice the size as everyone else. Mikey's been enjoying some long lunches too, judging on his appearance. I've nothing against people working out in the gym or putting on weight (I've done the same myself - albeit more of the latter than the former) but if you're going to reform a band whose popularity was based on physical attraction to girls and (some) boys and athleticism (can you imagine there's going to be many dance routines this time round?) you really need to look the part. That's the rule. Take That got that bit right - even Gary. Their reunion has been a success because they've got the look right and they've got the songs. It doesn't look like Boyzone have either..



Maybe I'm wrong but I think they're going to be looking at at a lot of empty seats in the coming months. I don't know where teenage girls' adoration of these groups go but when it goes, it's gone.. And unless you've got a really good plan, it's not coming back.

Now, when can we look forward to the East17 reunion?