When you gotta go.

One thing that amazed us in France was the amount of people - sorry, men that we saw urinating by the side of the road. It was astonishing. Over here that sort of behaviour is reserved for inebriated young men making their way home from the pub. You see them staggering along ahead of you before suddenly dipping away from the path in front, leaning against the wall and relieving themselves of the 12 pints of lager that they've thrown their necks during the preceding hours..

Now, as I've said many times on this blog, I'm not trying to put anyone down. I think it's a nasty business but I understand that there are times when people just have to go.. I've even heard of girls doing it too so it's not strictly a filthy boy issue. I'm not sure how the girls go about doing it but I'm told it happens and that's good enough for me. Fortunately I've still to witness something that Andrew Collins recently called a 'forward slash' where the man who needs to go doesn't actually have time to stop so he just wees and walks.. Not something you'd want to see coming towards you anytime.

In France, however, it seems to be a national past-time. In fact it may be time for the French to review whoever is promoting their national stereotypes. All the time I was there I never saw a man in a stripey top with onions wrapped around his neck. But I did see several men pissing up against lamp-posts, walls and trees practically everywhere i went. Nasty business. And it's not a night-time activity over there. No, they just stop their cars on the motorway in broad daylight and let fly. They don't even try to hide it. If it was me I'd be looking for a tree or something I could go around but these lads just stop what they're doing and pop out their chap. Incredible.


On the way to St. Emilion the other week, we were caught in traffic in a small town. There was a bit of a hold-up due to construction ahead of us. We'd been there a while and lots of people had left their cars to see what was causing the delay. On the way back to their cars one of the drivers decided he couldn't wait any longer to get to where he was going and relieved himself in front of everyone. I was so stunned I'm afraid I took a picture. Look! In broad daylight! This prompted some other drivers to do the same. Suddenly they were everywhere (possible slight exaggeration) standing at lamposts and pillars and draining their pipes. It's just a pity the wind didn't change direction.. Really - is this normal? I was ready for most things that France could throw at me but nobody had warned me about this madness.

Now, you don't think it's weird that I took a picture, do you?